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France Terror Alert
Jacques Chirac has officially raised the French terror alert from "Run" to "Hide". There are only two higher alert levels in France, which are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory - effectively crippling their military.

Q. What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?

A. You can make soldiers out of toast.

Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?  

A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: How many people does it take to defend Paris?  

A: Nobody knows, its never been tried.

Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?

A: A salesman.

Google: "Your search-French military victories -did not match any documents. No pages were found.  Did you mean French military defeats?"

Q: why are the French afraid of soap?
A1: because if they drop it the Germans will fuck them again

A2: they have never seen it before

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?  

A. The Army.

Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?  

A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?  

A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

Anyone see the French Military Rifle on eBay? It's never been shot and only dropped once!

Q. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn?

A. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes.

Q. Why are the French so afraid of war?

A. You would be too if you never won one in your history.

A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. The barman says "That's an real ugly bird you've there. Where did u get it?"

The parrot says "I got it in France ... There's millions of 'em there"

In the interests of fairness click here for some French victories

[ Home ] [ Up ] [ French victories ]

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Last modified: September 20, 2006