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Every
politician, sometime or other, must fight For
something they feel is really right OK,
most of the time it's all spin and half-lies But
now and then fundamental issues arise So
Clare reached that pivotal moment one day She
really did feel that the invasion of Iraq, nay Invasion
of anywhere at all was an abuse of power And
so it was now her turn to have her finest hour. She
would have to put her Cabinet post on the line "As
issues go this one is far more important, I can't sign Up
to bombing all those poor children to hell.
It's time to show that I'm a mother as well." It
could be said that having a minor Cabinet post Was
- in a mediocre career - Clare's proudest boast. She
was a bit of a dog, and wasn't awfully smart But
at least she was able to play her Old Labour part. It
was time to act and so she drank a few glasses Of
wine with her mum - not stout like the working classes However,
not to worry, she was about to go back To
her socialist roots. It was
resignation or the sack. She
rang up the BBC one Sunday lunchtime, to Tell
them "I've got one hell of a story for you" By
late afternoon she was on the air, with the remark "I
can't agree with Tony about zapping Iraq. "In
my view he's being reckless, in the extreme In
sending our lads to fight, when it would seem That
peace would be a far better solution Particularly
with a second UN resolution. "So
I'm threatening to quit, unless I get my way" "Excuse
me, Clare, does that mean that you may, You
have or you will quit your highly-paid post And
the chauffeur-driven car you love most?" Although
she'd three times called her leader 'reckless' And
suggested her own Government was feckless It
later transpired that she hadn't actually resigned Merely
talked of going, with no particular date assigned. Supporters
of poor Clare were somewhat confused And
her colleagues in the Cabinet not at all amused "Either
you're with us or against us, which is it?" But
Clare didn't seem to be bothered a bit. Was
it that our heroine had lost her bottle? Surely not! This
was a fundamental issue, and she'd got To
follow up her fighting talk with action soon Or
show that, after all, she sided with Hoon. Possibly
the pathetic creature really thought That
her threat would arouse terrific support In
fact nobody could really care a toss And
even suggested that she'd be no great loss. And
so she found that many a former friend Thought
she'd gone completely round the bend Far
from eliciting any significant backing The
feeling was that in backbone she was lacking. As
time went on with her saying nothing more It
became clear that Britain was going to war Now
was the time that she'd surely have to go And
the press waited for her to tell them so. 'Cabinet
Minister Resigns' showed the headlines As
editors put papers to bed before deadlines So,
she'd done what she'd promised at last, just look! Hang
on a minute, instead it's Robin Cook. So
where was brave Clare? Maybe she'd
been rash If
she resigned, Christ - she'd lose all that cash! So,
she was going to "reflect overnight" Her
yellow streak finally coming into sight. She
was just like Tony Benn, John Prescott et al They
talked a good leftist story, had read Das Kapital But
when push came to shove they knew what to do "Sod
the proletariat, we want a few bob too!" But
come on Clare, don't let us down now! The
bearded wierdo Cook has gone, you too must bow To
popular demand and follow him out of the door And
morale amongst the populace will soar! But
what then, poor Clare, what will you do next? Maybe
work in foreign aid, Oxfam one expects You
probably won't save the Third World, I suppose But at least you'll get staff discount on your clothes!
by Kevin Nicholls |
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